Give It Up

I've been working hard lately on trying to teach my kids respect for others and showing love. If you ask my 5 or 7 year old my rules about respect they will tell you the 3 P's - Respect for Parents, Respect for other People, and Respect for Property. However getting them to live out these principles is a lot harder than remembering them!

I want to instill in them things like giving up their seats for older people, opening doors for others, speaking kindly, making eye contact, responding to greetings, not reacting in anger, and giving up the right to have the biggest piece, the first place, the best prize.

I was reading through Ephesians and these verses helped to draw all that together and bring it home.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
(Ephesians 4:29-5:2)

Instead of words that build others up, I had been exhibiting a bit too much of the unwholesome variety. Not looking to others needs but my own. Not characterised by kindness and compassion. Not imitating God but imitating others. Not giving myself up, but living for myself. I don't think most people would have noticed, it was a slow change. I was busy, tired and getting a little run down. But instead of reaching for the Spring of Living Water, I went into drought conservation mode.

But looking to yourself only makes things worse. It harbours bitterness, promotes anger, encourages brawling, and lets slip slander. Soon you don't even notice the needs of others because you are so caught up in yourself and expending all your energy trying to make yourself feel good again. It's a lost cause. No amount of water conservation is going to bring life to our land, we need God to send rain. And no amount of effort on our part will quench the thirst within that only God can fill.

We don't have to 'hope' and 'wait' for God to refresh us and fill us with his life giving water, all we have to do is contained, almost hidden, in those verses and is like turning on a tap to our parched souls. Look at the 'just as' phrases: '..just as Christ forgave you.' '..just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us..'.

When we recognise what God did for us in Jesus - dying for us so that our sin is paid for and we can be reconciled to God, and when we dwell on that love and that sacrifice and allow the truth of that to truly sink in, we are transformed from the inside.

Because God has forgiven me, I forgive others. Because God loves me, I look to the needs of others. Because Jesus gave himself up for me, I will give up my 'rights' for others.

And when THAT is my focus, I have more joy, more peace and more passion than ever before.

It doesn't make sense that giving up our right to ourselves will set us free, but it does. It doesn't make sense that giving up our striving will give us peace, but it does. And it doesn't make sense that giving up our heart will give us life, but it is the greatest change you will ever experience.

You just have to give it up.

Health & Beauty - 4. Metabolise!

This was the 4th of 10 articles published in ConXion magazine's Health and Beauty Section in 2010.

“for physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim 4:8).

In the past 3 months of ConXion I have encouraged you to live healthier both in your physical and spiritual life. The first three articles were about getting organised - get a diary, weigh in and stock up. The next few will be about getting honest. If you are brave enough, read on.
This months topic is Number 4 – Metabolise.

Metabolism is basically how you process what goes in to your body. A ‘fast metabolism’ is very good at using and reallocating the good things in the food that you eat. A ‘slow metabolism’ is less efficient and often a lot of possibly good stuff goes to waste because it is not used.

I tried the ‘slow metabolism’ excuse for my extra weight until I read a little and realised a little something. Metabolism is directly related to how much muscle and fat you currently have. This was bad news as I had lost one more excuse, but good news, as I could do something about it.

In order to teach my body to use the nutrients and energy in food in the best way, I have to daily remind it of our goal. Aerobic and resistance exercises help to reduce fat and increase muscle which in turn increases metabolism.

In the same way, in order to make the best use of the material and circumstances I come in contact with each day, I have to train my mind so that it keeps more of the good stuff and less of the bad. I need Aerobic exercises – time with my Heavenly Father and in His word and Resistance exercises – time with others both in fellowship and service.

I’ve realized that skinny people don’t just have good metabolism, most of them actually do exercise and generally eat well. And ‘good’ people don’t just have a good conscience, most of them spend time reading the Bible and seek to honour God in what they do.

Now that you have all that you need (structure, accountability and resources from our first 3 topics), its time to give up the excuses and take some action to improve your health both physically and spiritually.

Train your body and you will get more out of life. And how much you get out of the Bible and get out of church has more to do with how you have trained your mind than how it makes you feel. It wont happen overnight, but if you keep it up, you will notice the change, and so will those looking on!

Health & Beauty - 3. Get Ready

This article was the 3rd of 10 appearing in ConXion Magazine's Health and Beauty Section in 2010.

OK ladies (or gentlemen ;), you have your diary to get organised, you are committed to weighing in regularly to keep accountable, the third thing to do is get ready!

1. Get a Diary
2. Weigh In
3. Get Ready

In order to improve the health of your body or your life, you need to make sure you have the supplies that you need, otherwise there is no chance you'll make it past the first hurdle.

For exercise, I required shoes and clothing for walking, sync'd my ipod, got rid of my favourite biscuits, chocolates and sweets (that was fun ;) and stocked up on healthy alternatives and water bottles.

For my spiritual toning up I dusted off my Bible, put away my magazines and got out a good devotional book and occasionally an uplifting novel.

What you choose to put in will have a direct effect on your progress both physically and spiritually.

To tell you the truth, I was going to buy a new pair of shoes to start my daily walking, but I couldn't guarantee this whole exercise and eating healthy thing would last more than a few days so I didn't! Most of the time, our good intentions are thwarted by opportunity. The snacks in the cupboard, the ice-cream in the freezer, the morning tea at church. The trashy novel that we haven't finished, our favourite TV shows, magazines, music or the internet.

We can be reassured though, that we are not alone. Throughout history God has always provided his people with instructions on how to live life to the full. The Bible is our manual for living and is full of troubleshooting tips for problems of life such as this.

"Whatever is whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil 4:8. If you want to eat right, it is good to have a list of foods acceptable and available for you to substitute what you used to eat. And if you want to live right, the same is true. Think about these things, or, as my mum says, "what goes in, must come out!" She neglected to tell me that the 'out' would happen on my hips!

So as you embark on or get real about your journey to spiritual and physical fitness, make sure you have all that you need and remove the obstacles you are able to. But thats not ALL you need… its not all about your effort and preparation, God wants to help to overcome those struggles, limitations and hinderances, if only you would submit your life to Him. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose" Phil 2:13.

Off you go, Ill be praying for you :)

Health & Beauty - 2. Weigh In

This is the second article published in ConXion Magazine's 2010 Health and Beauty Section.

So, do you have your diary? Last month you read about the need to get organised to begin to be healthy in both body and soul. The first necessity on the list was to get a diary so you can set aside time, both to exercise and to spend time with God.

The second thing I challenge you to do is to weigh in.

1. Get a Diary
2. Weigh In

I was given a Wii Fit for mothers day and so every day, even when I know I have done the wrong thing (eaten badly or missed exercise), I weigh in and it keeps track of my progress. It gives me good tips on exercise and healthy eating. If I haven’t weighed in for some time, it comments on my tardiness and encourages me to get back into it. If my weight has gone up more than a certain amount, I have to explain! And what’s worse, that explanation is recorded! But if I have been exercising and eating right, the result is encouraging and it’s nice having ‘someone’ to share it with.

Now that’s stretching the analogy a bit far, my little talking wii balance board is hardly a friend (and doesn’t scold me for turning him off just before the explanation part so I don’t have to ‘fess up!)

You need to be accountable to aid in being disciplined, so that you can recognize the consequences of making wrong choices, and so you can be encouraged in the good that is being done. And, even though it might require time and transparency, you need some other ladies to do that with.

Just like a good Bible Study group, the accountability and encouragement keeps me coming back. There is great teaching on good Biblical truths, accountability as to how I am really travelling with God and with others, and encouragement to make the right choices throughout the coming week. Knowing a friend will ask me if I’ve been spending time with God is an excellent motivation for those times when it would be easy to drift out of the habit.

You need to weigh in regularly, and adjust your behaviour and habits if you want to be healthy. Join a group; they will give you training, companionship, accountability and encouragement. Join a church or ladies Bible study; we’re here for the same thing!

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Heb 10:25

p.s. I wanted to get into shape for a special occasion, and worked harder as the day approached. How much more should we be getting into shape for the imminent return of our Lord!

Health & Beauty - 1. Get A Diary

This is the first of 10 articles that appeared in ConXion magazine's Health and Beauty Section in 2010.

You see the ads everywhere you turn: in the shopping centres, on television, on the internet. Everyone is looking for a quick way to get thin. Lots of people are looking for convenient ways to get fit. Some people want to look like their favourite celebrities. But what Jenny or Tony don’t advertise, is that there is no quick or easy way to lose those unwanted kilos or build up those flabby muscles. It takes hard work and determination.

But wait, don’t skip over to another page just yet! Each month in Conxion we will share with you a simple yet effective tip to get you started and help you stay on track for a healthy life. And for those of you worried this will turn into a ‘Christian Womens Weekly’ or a ‘New Christian Idea’: fear not! – “for physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim 4:8). And so, realising the great importance of shaping up spiritually, and the parallels between physical and spiritual discipline, allow me to share with you the overview for this Column.

1. Get Organised
2. Get Honest
3. Get Out

And our first of ten points we will cover this year is… Get A Diary.

Not very profound, but it may be just what you need to start. There is no way you can be disciplined in the physical or spiritual aspects of life if the rest of your life is disorganized. I have tried desperately to disprove this theory by struggling to accomplish everything while being disorganised but it only leads to stress and failure.

You need to set time aside for important things, and be able to look back and evaluate how you spent your time. It is vitally important you set aside time to exercise, and even record your diet or your weight, but it is essential for the health of our soul that we spend time with our Heavenly Father each day. It’s a great resource to look back over what He has taught you, how He has helped and grown you, and what verses His Spirit has highlighted to encourage or challenge you.

I feel much saner with my diary because I am able to write down the tasks or concerns occupying my mind, and I feel the same way when I start the day in prayer to God. I can share all that is bothering me, concerning me, or just busying my mind, and when I allow Him to put them on His ‘to-do’ list I am able to go out into my day tackling one task at a time.

It’s the perfect time to get a diary – it’s the start of a year, it’s a great time for new-years resolutions, and the diaries are on special! What are you waiting for?

Foosball

We got a good deal at the Tender Centre on a Foosball Table. Bryce noticed it from the other side of the auction house and was interested immediately. It grabbed his attention and he thought it would be great for youth group. It had a low reserve and for a sturdy table was a great price.



We almost didn't pick up this great deal however, when I dismissed my husband's suggestion because in my mind, half the handles were missing. We were all the way over the other side of the auction hall before I voiced my reason and he pointed out with a smile on his face that 'half the handles' are on the other side!

I wonder what other people see when they look at us. I hope they see something of interest, grace that grabs their attention, peace that sparks their curiosity, but I know that some people are turned away by an apparent flaw - we have relinquished control of the big decisions and direction of our life - half the handles are 'missing'!

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things we are responsible for and enough to keep us busy, but there are some moves we were not meant to play. For those tragic or tricky situations, it is so freeing knowing we can trust Him who made the table and holds the handles. And once we relinquish control of having to do everything ourselves and worry about the outcome of things we have little or no control over, we can 'play' our part in conjunction with him and see the table of life how it was meant to be. We can watch the plays unfold and give credit to the strong and quick hands on the other side.

A friend asked me recently if I was worried about a certain situation and if I was going to intervene to force the outcome I was hoping for? Nope. The handle is on the other side. Should I have stressed about my skin cancer op? Nope. Handle's on the other side. Was I fretting when Josh was in hospital with aneurysms in his heart? Nope. Handle's on the other side. Oh but I was praying! And it was the best thing I could do.

There are decisions that have to be made, calls to be made, applications to be written, challenges, confrontations and work to be done. But next time you are about to take control, pray about whether it should be done, whether it is your responsibility, and remember - some handles are on the other side.

Game on :)

Move!

I didn't mind my kids being around my feet as they were toddlers but I have been finding myself lately saying things like "move", "get out of the kitchen", and "what are you doing here?" (in a kind motherly way of course ;).

They LOVE to help in the kitchen. And for a brief period of time, they are even enjoying washing up (though unpacking the dishwasher has sadly lost it's novelty). When I have tasks for them to do, I like having them help, but sometimes I discover the results of them 'helping' withouth being asked or 'helping themselves' when I step onto a floor covered in sugar or see a trail of chocolate sauce or vegemite handprints all the way from the kitchen to the lounge.

Sometimes they are trying to help me and other times they are helping themselves but unless I have actually given them a task to do, they are often just in the way, or getting into things that aren't good for them.

I like to be helpful too, and often I have great ideas of how I can help God in my church, in my family, help other people or even help my self. But I am getting the feeling sometimes I might be in the way. Sometimes I am allowed in God's kitchen - the steam room where things are happening. Sometimes he asks me to pick up a mess, or give some refreshment, or add some spice to what He is doing and I love helping Him out! Its definitely the best feeling ever. But, like my kids, then I hang around and start doing things myself which just makes a mess or throws off the timing or I help myself to something which wasn't meant for me.

Its high time I just sat down, watched Him work, chatted about things and asked if there was anything He would like me to do. And He might even say, "Alright, since you asked, this encouragement is just about ready, you can serve it up for me" or "Yes, I have been saving this step for you". I know He is the one who does all the preparation, planning, measuring, timing and garnishing and He gets all the credit, but I just LOVE it when He lets me help :).

Where are you at the moment - Right beside Him following instructions? Helping out or helping yourself? Or doing something unproductive and not in the kitchen at all?

Well...move! ;)