Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Fob Off

(this post was written a couple of years ago and has been hiding in my drafts folder
so it is safe to assume that I am not talking about you,
or if I was, we are friends now so its all good ;)

I walked out to my car after having a nice chat to a friend of a friend.

You know how there are some people you meet and you think "Wow, they are really lovely!". I have met a lot of those ladies, and most of you I have managed to snavel as friends. But one lady recently has declined my kind offers of cappucino and cake. She is a very busy lady so I can understand it being hard to schedule in coffee with a new friend. Sort of. I'm sure she has tonnes of friends so probably isnt really needing another social engagement in her week. But... well... ooh I wish she would! :)

I had been second guessing myself because I was thinking "Surely you can't be THAT busy".

Until today.

I'm so sorry.
It totally wasn't intentional.
I really was flat out and had lots on my to-do-list.
Today I realised that last week... I fobbed someone off. They asked me to have coffee with them, and I declined, saying I had too much on at the moment.

The Collins English dictionary describes to 'fob off' as "to appease or trick (a person) with lies or excuses". That sounds a bit nasty - I'd like to say, it wasnt intentional, I was feeling overwhelmed with all that I have to fit into my weeks now that I am studying full time and working just a bit and keeping the house and health of my family in order. But, I'm sorry.

I ran into the said fobbee today (If that were a word it might be defined as "the person who is appeased or tricked with lies or excuses"). I had a lovely time chatting and she gave me a warm hug at the end. I said goodbye and walked to my car and right at that moment it dawned on me. I had fobbed someone off after being fobbed off myself!

It is definitely OK to say No when you have other things on. It is even OK to say No just so you can have margin in your life, or if something is not the right timing. But if Im honest, I was saying No because I didnt want to invest the energy into it. And if I'm really honest, I was showing favouritism.

If a good friend had have come and asked me to have coffee, would I have fitted it in? If someone important invited me to a meeting would I have accepted?

Like Christians through the centuries, we need to heed the words of James in the New Testament;

"My friends, if you have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, you won't treat some people better than others. Suppose a rich person wearing fancy clothes and a gold ring comes to one of your meetings. And suppose a poor person dressed in worn-out clothes also comes. You must not give the best seat to the one in fancy clothes and tell the one who is poor to stand at the side or sit on the floor. That is the same as saying that some people are better than others, and you would be acting like a crooked judge."

James 2:1-4 (CEV)

Its not about saying yes or no to invitations to catch up. It was about my heart. Its always about our heart!

So next time you do the fob-off just remember the verse (and maybe even the story). You could be missing out on coffee with me!

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